Donny’s Jokes – March 2013

Mar 6, 2013

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Bowie’s Done

Bowie was late for work – again – and his boss was furious! She called him into the office and said, “What’s your excuse this time Bow?”
“I overslept,” he shrugged. “For cryin out loud Bow, at least tell me something I haven’t heard before!”
Bowie thought for a moment and replied, “You’re looking quite lovely today!”
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Sue’s Birthday

It was the Sue’s birthday the other day, and Mike bought her a new bag and belt. “She wasn’t real happy about it” said Mike, “but the Hoover works great now!”
Bomb Jovi

I went to see a tribute band last night at McStews over the weekend. They were a bunch or Arabs and they called themselves ‘Bomb Jovi’. Their last song “Living on a Prayer Mat” almost brought the house down! Then this Muslim guy in the audience started bragging about how he had the entire Koran on dvd. I was interested, so I asked, “Can you burn me a copy?”
And well … thats when the fight broke out …..

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SAD NEWS

Just heard our local Muslim optician has passed away.
Asif Eyecare.

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911

A good friend Dave has just been fired from his job with the 911 Emergency Call Center in Georgia. A man named Abdul called and said, “I’m depressed and lying on the railway track waiting for the train to come so I can finally meet Allah.” Apparently, “Remain calm and stay on the line” was the wrong response


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Lincoln
I’ve heard that Lincoln is doing really well in theaters at the moment! Historically, this has not been the case …

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Slick’s First Born

Slick’s wife Eileen was in labor with their first child. In some serious pain, Eileen was shouting at the top of her lungs “Get this out of me – Give me the drugs!” She looked at Slick and said, “You did this to me you bastard!” Slick smiled and casually replied, “If you would care to remember Ei, I wanted to stick it in the back door, but you said it would be too painful!”

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Q&A

Q. How do you start a Rave in Africa?
A. Glue toast to the ceiling.

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Milt’s Lesson

On his way home from Reales’, Milt managed to get himself pulled over and was asked – “Do you have a police record?” Milt’s reply angered the policeman and he immediately began to taze Milt! Apparently ‘Walking on the Moon’ wasn’t the answer the policeman wanted to hear.

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Finally …

Spring forward!!!

I’ve been waitin all winter for this! This whole daylight savings thing is POOP! Bring on the Spring, and bring on the FUN!

The Shamrock Shuttle just passed through Mayfair last weekend, and the Erin Express is this weekend (March 9th) starting at Paddywhacks on Comly rd. The following weekend starts off again at Paddywhacks on Comly for their fist ever Paddy Dash at 9:30am. After you’ve exhausted yourself there (actually you can walk it if you want), bring your kids on over to the Mayfair Memorial Playground on Rowland ave. at 11:00 for the 3rd Annual Easter Egg Hunt.

All kinds of stuff going on!!

As far as bands go, Aj is all over the place lately, but you can still catch him every Wednesday night at Spencers. Speaking of Spencers, Rev will be there on the 16th! Keep your eyes peeled for a new band called Blackwater! I just caught them last weekend at Studio 98 and their set list was awesome!

Thats all I’ve got room for … Be sure to check out my new column here called ‘Ale On The Town’ featuring the craft beer scene here in and around the northeast. Shoot me an email and let me know what you think!

As always, keep your jokes, pics, whathaveu and whatnot coming to DonnysJokes@yahoo.com

Have FUN!!

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