Donny’s Jokes – December 2012

Dec 13, 2012

funny8

Christmas Announcement

Tampax has announced that they will be replacing their tampons string with tinsel. This will be for the Christmas period only.

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Gift Idea

Stuck for ideas this Christmas?
Buy someone a fridge and watch their face light up as they open it!!

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Tis the Season for Cheesy One Liners
!!


Q: Which reindeer have the shortest legs?
A: The smallest ones

Q: What do reindeer have that no other animals have?
A: Baby reindeer

Q: How does Santa Claus take photos?
A: With his North Pole-aroid


Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve

Q: What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?
A: The letter “D”

Q: Who delivers cat’s Christmas presents?
A: Santa Paws


Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle

Q: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
A: We’ll have a boo Christmas without you

Q: What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh, Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
A: Santa caught in a revolving door

Q: Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Because it “soots” him

Q: What do you call a group of chess fanatics bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

A: Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

Q: What does Santa call reindeer that don’t work?

A: Dinner
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!

Q. What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked in the sky?
A. “Looks like rain, dear.”

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MORE – But They’re Getting Better!!!

Q: How many ears has Captain Kirk got?
A: Three: The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.


Q: What do the elves call it when Father Christmas claps his hands at the end of a play?
A: Santapplause!
Q: What do you call people who are scared of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic
Q: What do you call Santa when he has no money?
A: Saint “Nickel”- less
Q: What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas?
A: A rebel without a Claus
Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A: A puddle
Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: “Wrap” music!
Q: Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!

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Knock Knock

Knock Knock
Who’s there ?
Rudolph
Rudolph who ?
Money is the Rudolph of all evil!

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Sir Paul’s Gift

Sir Paul McCartney bought his ex wife a new artificial leg for Christmas.
It was just a stocking stuffer.

Finally …

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Feliz Navidad, Happy Festivus, – Whatever you’re into, it’s Christmas time – The time of year when everyone gets all “Santamental” – Haha!

There’s quite a few events and parties going on, however it all starts this Friday (14th) at Reales’. Out on The Town will be having their annual Christmas Party and all are invited! Stems and Seeds will be playing Christmas tunes all night long and I’m sure Gary from Reales’ will hop in and sing a tune or two. Always a blast at Reales’! The party starts at 7:00, and drinks are on Mikey – It doesn’t get any better than that!! (I can hear Mikey screaming from here – Hahaha!!)

Saturday the 15th Get the Led Out will be playing their annual December show at the E. Factory. The show starts at 8:30 and as of this printing, tickets are still available. Needless to say, this show is absolutely AWESOME and the boys would love to see you there!

I’m sure I’m missing some parties here, but probably one of the most important show this month is the “Forever Autumn” benefit concert being held on the 22nd at the TLA. This is an all ages show and it runs from 2:30-11:00. Tickets are available at the door for $25.00 ea with all of the proceeds from this event will go to the Autumn Pasquale Memorial Fund. I’m told there have been some amazing gifts donated by some big name bands (Cinderella, Motley Crue, etc) to be used in the 50/50. PROPS to everyone involved with putting this show together – You guys RULE!! For more info, look up Forever Autumn on facebook.

That’s it …. Have an AWESOME Christmas gang! Enjoy the time with your family and friends, and I hope that the fat guy brings you all that you want, and more!

As always, keep your jokes, pics, whathaveu and whatnot coming to DonnysJokes@yahoo.com
Have FUN!!

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