Oct 10, 2012

Cheesy Halloween One Liners – Ya Gotta Love It!!

Q: What do little ghost drink?
A: Evaporated Milk

Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A: Because people are dying to get in

Q: What do you say when you meet a ghost?
A: “How do you boo?”

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite breakfast?
A: Booberries

Q: What is a ghoul’s favorite breakfast?
A: Rice Creepies

Q: What did the policeman say to the spider who ran down his back?
A: “You’re under a vest!”

Q: What do you call the ghost of a door to door salesman?
A: A dead ringer?

Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
A: In a blood bank

Q: How does a witch tell time?
A: She looks at her witch watch

Q: What do you call a ghost in a holy sheet?
A: A holy terror

Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They wear masking tape
Q: What would you find on a haunted beach?
A: A sand witch
Q: What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A: Five after one

Q: What would you get if you crossed a rabbit with a wolf?
A: A Harewolf

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: You sneak up on it and yell “BOO!”


Yo Colleen – I’ve got MORE!!

Q: What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
A: She flies off the handle

Q: Why do demons hang out with ghouls
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend

Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a ghost?
A: A poultry-geist

Q: What does Dracula put on his nachos?
A: Halloween-o Peppers of course

Q: What do you get when you cross a monster and a pig?
A: Frankenswine

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with

Q: What time was Dracula’s dentist appointment?
A: Tooth-Hurty

Q: Why did the mummy go on vacation?
A: He needed to unwind

Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets

Q: What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards

Q: What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A: A Boo-ick

Q: What do Hillbillies do on Halloween?
A: Pump-Kin

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts


Boo Who?

Knock Knock
Who’s there
Boo who?
Don’t cry – It’s just a joke


Costume Jokes

Two medical residents were invited to a costume party. They stopped at the Army/Navy store to see if they could find something to wear but only had enough money to buy one pair of fatigues. One wore the top half, and the other wore the bottom half.

Q: What were they?
A: An upper and lower GI


Nancy’s Costume

Nancy from Currans has nothing to were for Halloween, so she puts a sheet over her head, sticks some horns on it and goes to work. Once at work, Diane asks, “Nancy, what are you supposed to be?” Nancy replies, “Bull Sheet”


Quick Thinkin Victor

Victor came to my door on Halloween dressed as ‘Rocky’ in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Because I was giving away large chocolate bars, Victor decided to he come back and hit me up again.

“Aren’t you the same ‘Rocky’ who was here a few minutes ago?” I asked

“Yes” Victor replied “But now I’m the sequel!”


Today’s Halloween Specials:

Ghoulash, Scream Beans, Scalped Potatoes, and Booberry Pie with I Scream


Finally …

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and we’ve got some really cool things going on round here. For starters, this Saturday (13th) REV will be playing at Currans in Tacony.

On Sunday (14th), Mayfair is having it’s 2nd Farmers Market right at Cottman and Frankford from 9 till 2:00 (that’s AM kiddies … lol). All kinds of cool stuff there including live music and a Grey Lodge Beer Garden! How cool is that?!! Bring your Growlers!

Speaking of Mayfair – The Thanksgiving parade is coming up and you’re more than welcomed to create and enter your own float in the parade! Shoot me an email for more details.

On Friday the 19th, Aj Slick will back at Sweeny’s jammin his ass off again. Speaking of Sweeny’s, they’ve been booking some really good bands up there (as usual)! Joe Coyne (Evryman Jack) recently played there as a last minute fill in and he’s been asked to play again in November on the 11th. Awesome!!

On the 27th, Teddy Dugan is once again having his Halloween Fest featuring Seven, Angry Vic, Pixie Dix, and Disturbing the Peace. It’s 6 hours long and only $30 smackaroos. Shoot me an email for details. It’s going to be INSANE!!

Alright gang .. as always keep your jokes, pics (especially the Halloween pics) whathavue and whatnot coming to

Have FUN!!

by | Categories: Jokes |