by the Mistress of Darkness, Queen Helene
Zombie Alert! Yes….it’s that time of year again and if you never been to Teddy Dugan’s Halloweenfest-you have missed out on one frightfully good time! Mark your calendars in blood if you have to for Saturday, October 27th @8pm, at the Fraternal Order of Eagles Club, 920 Trenton Rd. in Fairless Hills. It will be a ghoulish night of masquerade!
This SCARE-TASTICAL event will awaken the dead for sure with cash prizes for the most Scariest, Funniest, Original and Sexiest! The Grand Prize winner will take $500.00 cash! Once again, Nick Brambilla, the Dark Master of Ceremonies, along with Queen Helene, the Quintessential Mistress of Darkness, will transition you thru a night of Sheer Mayhem!
Your donation will allow you to bare witness to larger than life Hollywood-like theatrical designs; featuring over $10,000 in decorations, lighting and sounds-all beyond your imagination! There will be 4 bone rattling & rockin’ bands-SEVEN-ANGRY VIC-PIXIE DIX-& DISTURBING THE PEACE! Speaking of hauntingly disturbing-there will be 2 large screens with video views of all the magic & gore of the night; plus lots of ghoulish music to dance to by no other than Video Disc Jockey, Brian Potts! Hoards of food and ice cold beer will be overflowing, door prizes galore, adult-themed games and many other many thrills will be had by all!
You may purchase your tickets through the Scare Pros at (215) 547-1906 or through Teddy or Kelly at (267) 391-8626. Tickets in advance are just $30.00. Although you may dare to wait and get yours at the door for $35.00-heed my warnings these tickets sell FAST! Don’t be one of the poor souls who missed out last year and were condemned to wander for all eternity!
For more information check out the Spook-tacular ad in this issue of the Out On The Town!
by
MikeV |
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Concerts & Events |
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Cheesy Halloween One Liners – Ya Gotta Love It!!
Q: What do little ghost drink?
A: Evaporated Milk
Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A: Because people are dying to get in
Q: What do you say when you meet a ghost?
A: “How do you boo?”
Q: What is a ghost’s favorite breakfast?
A: Booberries
Q: What is a ghoul’s favorite breakfast?
A: Rice Creepies
Q: What did the policeman say to the spider who ran down his back?
A: “You’re under a vest!”
Q: What do you call the ghost of a door to door salesman?
A: A dead ringer?
Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
A: In a blood bank
Q: How does a witch tell time?
A: She looks at her witch watch
Q: What do you call a ghost in a holy sheet?
A: A holy terror
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They wear masking tape
Q: What would you find on a haunted beach?
A: A sand witch
Q: What time would it be if five demons were chasing you?
A: Five after one
Q: What would you get if you crossed a rabbit with a wolf?
A: A Harewolf
Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: You sneak up on it and yell “BOO!”
—-
Yo Colleen – I’ve got MORE!!
Q: What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom?
A: She flies off the handle
Q: Why do demons hang out with ghouls
A: Because demons are a ghouls best friend
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a ghost?
A: A poultry-geist
Q: What does Dracula put on his nachos?
A: Halloween-o Peppers of course
Q: What do you get when you cross a monster and a pig?
A: Frankenswine
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with
Q: What time was Dracula’s dentist appointment?
A: Tooth-Hurty
Q: Why did the mummy go on vacation?
A: He needed to unwind
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets
Q: What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
A: Ghostcards
Q: What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A: A Boo-ick
Q: What do Hillbillies do on Halloween?
A: Pump-Kin
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts
—–
Boo Who?
Knock Knock
Who’s there
Boo!
Boo who?
Don’t cry – It’s just a joke
—-
Costume Jokes
Two medical residents were invited to a costume party. They stopped at the Army/Navy store to see if they could find something to wear but only had enough money to buy one pair of fatigues. One wore the top half, and the other wore the bottom half.
Q: What were they?
A: An upper and lower GI
—-
Nancy’s Costume
Nancy from Currans has nothing to were for Halloween, so she puts a sheet over her head, sticks some horns on it and goes to work. Once at work, Diane asks, “Nancy, what are you supposed to be?” Nancy replies, “Bull Sheet”
—-
Quick Thinkin Victor
Victor came to my door on Halloween dressed as ‘Rocky’ in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Because I was giving away large chocolate bars, Victor decided to he come back and hit me up again.
“Aren’t you the same ‘Rocky’ who was here a few minutes ago?” I asked
“Yes” Victor replied “But now I’m the sequel!”
—–
Today’s Halloween Specials:
Ghoulash, Scream Beans, Scalped Potatoes, and Booberry Pie with I Scream
—–
Finally …
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and we’ve got some really cool things going on round here. For starters, this Saturday (13th) REV will be playing at Currans in Tacony.
On Sunday (14th), Mayfair is having it’s 2nd Farmers Market right at Cottman and Frankford from 9 till 2:00 (that’s AM kiddies … lol). All kinds of cool stuff there including live music and a Grey Lodge Beer Garden! How cool is that?!! Bring your Growlers!
Speaking of Mayfair – The Thanksgiving parade is coming up and you’re more than welcomed to create and enter your own float in the parade! Shoot me an email for more details.
On Friday the 19th, Aj Slick will back at Sweeny’s jammin his ass off again. Speaking of Sweeny’s, they’ve been booking some really good bands up there (as usual)! Joe Coyne (Evryman Jack) recently played there as a last minute fill in and he’s been asked to play again in November on the 11th. Awesome!!
On the 27th, Teddy Dugan is once again having his Halloween Fest featuring Seven, Angry Vic, Pixie Dix, and Disturbing the Peace. It’s 6 hours long and only $30 smackaroos. Shoot me an email for details. It’s going to be INSANE!!
Alright gang .. as always keep your jokes, pics (especially the Halloween pics) whathavue and whatnot coming to DonnysJokes@yahoo.com
Have FUN!!
by
MikeV |
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Jokes |
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by Jimmy Abgarian
For 18 years Bonehead has been one of the top drawing acts in the tri-state area. In 1994 Eddie and Chris from Slippery and the skirt chasers created Stone Groove Productions and decided to put together a band of the best musicians they could find. Rather than take a group of guys who were friends who may have a weak link, they auditioned a bunch of musicians and dubbed them “Bonehead”. At the time it was unheard of to take to the free agent market and cherry pick talent. This process proved to be a perfect business model for them. Using the Alternative music of the time to shape the band, Bonehead skyrocketed at a rapid fire pace. Having played all of the top clubs in the Philly area as well as saturating the Shore market, they only seemed to get better. In 1999 they released a CD of original songs through Vulgar entertainment and produced by Grammy award winning producer James Cravero. Fade would prove to be a steppingstone to bigger things to come. The buzz from the Fade cd caught the attention of producer Don Gehman and they were soon signed to a major label. For legal reasons the name of the band had to be changed to Familiar 48. They then released Wonderful Nothing in April 2002. Wonderful nothing is still a great CD that released today would have an entirely different end result. In 2003 after the minor success of Wonderful Nothing lead singer Jayy Mannon decided to put the band on hiatus to work on some original music. 2005 saw the reformation of Bonehead with Jayy being the only original member. With the reformation of the band Jayy along with Vulgar records rereleased Fade their first full length CD adding 4 bonus tracks. Playing sporadically and not keeping the schedule that would burn them out proved to be essential in creating the new music that would make up the 2007 release “Broken and Glued”.
Over the years for this band one person has remained through everything. Jayy Mannon has been the Front man from day one. The band was put together around him and he took Bonehead to places most band only dream about. He understands that Bonehead is a brand name and treats it as such. Jayy can walk into a room with a guitar sit down and garner the attention of everyone. Years of playing have made the Bonehead show look almost effortless. I have seen Bonehead a lot over the years and have seen Jayy take time to talk to everyone about everything and not think twice about giving advice to up and comers. The current lineup of Bonehead consists of some of the best veterans of the scene. Drummer Daryl Updike and Mike Arrelano and Jeff Camarco are all former members of The Interns. Daryl is the owner of United Strength Academy in Trenton NJ that handles personal strength and conditioning as well as being a full service training facility. Mike works at Hoshino makers of Ibanez guitars. Jay is a color specialist and stylist at salon Zen in Warrington. When not working their day jobs the band plays acoustic and full band shows all over the area. I had a chance to check them out at The Limit (formerly Reeds) and for the first time in a long time felt that I got more than my moneys worth. I suggest that you take what I say with a grain of salt and check them out for yourself. It will be worth it, I promise you.
You can get their schedule and check out their music at
www.boneheadlive.com
by
MikeV |
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Bands,
Features |
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Bartender of the Month
Melissa Jo
From: Freddie’s Tavern
Bristol Pa
(Photo by Mike Vagnoni)
For the month of October we have “Melissa Jo” from Freddie’s Tavern, Bristol Pa., as our bartender of the month. Melissa is a resident of Levittown Pa., and has been a working bartender for over 10 years. She has been at Freddie’s Tavern since January and she has the following shifts: (mondays 3pm to 8pm, wednesday 8pm to close, saturdays from 8pm to close). She is full of energy and sparks up the bar when she does her shifts. She is one personality behind the bar and loves her job
.”I love everything about the bar industry and everyone that comes to my bar is my new best friend”, she says.
She also likes live music and some of her favorite acts are: Reckless Behavior, Pop Fiction, Sinners Saints.
STATS:
Melissa stand in at 5′ feet and has brown eyes and brown hair. She has a great personality and makes it fun when she works.
Favorite Radio Station: Radio 104.5 Fm – loves modern rock.
Hobbies: Walking her dog, going to the beach all the time ..She likes the Sea Side area of New Jersey and goes all year round down the shore..”Anytime is the right time to visit the beach” she says..
ON SPORTS: Loves the Phillies – She is a die hard baseball fan and this is her team!
Favorite Drink: Southern Comfort
Favorite Drink to Serve: “Jack Sparrow” (Recipe – Tattoo Rum & Pineapple juice)
Meet up with Melissa Jo on your next visit over to Freddie’s Tavern, let her know you did see her in the OOT Guide’
See more photos at: www.ootonline.com (Click to our Bartender of the Month section)
by
MikeV |
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DJ's & Bartenders,
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East Coast Debut at Wells Fargo Center Complex
Saturday, October 27th
Registration for The Walking Dead Escape is available now!
(PHILADELPHIA) October 3, 2012 – The zombie virus continues to spread as Ruckus Sports and Skybound, in conjunction with Live Nation, announce Philadelphia as the next city to fall in the gruesomely realistic The Walking Dead Escape obstacle course series. Taking place on Saturday, October 27 at the Wells Fargo Center Complex, the apocalyptic event comes just in time for the Halloween season. There are three ways to take part in this epic adventure: participants can choose to be a Survivor and race through the zombie infested evacuation zone, a Walker who embraces the inevitable and surrenders to the undead horde, or a Spectator who watches the apocalypse from sidelines at the Escape Party.
On the heels of a wildly successful event in San Diego this Summer, The Walking Dead Escape: Philadelphia is unlike any obstacle course event in the nation. Expanding on the best-selling The Walking Dead comic book series and graphic novel storylines, the Escape allows Survivors and Walkers to explore the initial days of the apocalypse.
“Thousands of Walking Dead fans participated in San Diego and we promised that it wasn’t going to stop there,” said Liam Brenner, founder Ruckus Sports. “Now the people of Philadelphia are going to have their chance participate as we transform the Wells Fargo Center Complex into the early days of society’s collapse.”
Survivors will climb, crawl and slide in an effort to avoid confrontation by hordes of Walkers while achieving the ultimate adventure on The Walking Dead-themed obstacle course. The Walking Dead Escape is not a race and Survivors are not timed, but the end is near and they must move swiftly. If they’re lucky, Survivors will reach the decontamination zone where their level of infection – if any – will be determined by a confidential military scan. Walkers will be transformed into the undead by professional makeup teams and released on the course to haunt the living. New for the Philadelphia Escape is the “Survivor Showdown” where five-person teams will compete on a separate, walker infested course for $2,500 in prizes.
The choice is yours. Whether you run, walk, or watch, Walking Dead fans will have a front row seat to the real-life action event of a lifetime.
Early registration is strongly recommended, as walk-ups may not be available on event day.
JASON’S WOODS offers New Paranormal Bus Tours for 2012!!
Lancaster, PA – Jason’s Woods 2012 opens its 27th year with NEW takes on our unmatched collection of “7” favorite attractions and a brand new concept in supernatural horror, The Paranormal Bus Tour! Unbelievably the Biggest just got BIGGER!
Buses leave the grounds of Jason’s Woods on a nail biting journey to an actual 150 year old mill, full of murderous tales of revenge and loss. Scientifically proven to be the residence of several restless spirits, the Paranormal Bus Tour allows guests the one of a kind opportunity to follow in the footsteps of a team of actual paranormal investigators who, utilizing the latest in ghost hunting equipment, have made contact with these lost souls!
A seamless fusion of macabre local history and traditional Ghost Walk the Paranormal Bus Tour promises to leave its guests begging for the safety of the return trip back…
The “Legendary” Jason’s Woods boasts “7” hair-raising attractions and again, Jason’s Woods has taken them all to the next level! New Creatures, Special Effects and unparalleled scares await visitors to our Horrifying Hayride, Barn of Terror, 3D Pirates Revenge, Lost in Jason’s Woods Walking Tour, Mystery Maze, and Carnival of Fear!
Plus back by popular demand the Jason’s Woods Theater experience allows thrill seekers to feel as if they are a part of the Jason’s Woods cast…the victim IS part of the cast right?(at least for a short time)
Adding an entirely new dimension of fun to Jason’s Woods, the Entertainment area has grown to include an Alien Laser Tag Maze, the out of control action of Remote Control truck races, The New Jason’s Woods Ninja Challenge Obstacle Course and a Friday Night Tailgate Party!
With all the amazing new events and the addition of the Paranormal Bus Tours, Jason’s Woods has become THE destination for an entire weekend of Halloween fun and excitement!
Located at 99 Stehman Road Lancaster, PA. 17603. Attractions open weekends beginning September28th, through October 28th, 2012
Hours of operation – Friday’s and Saturday’s 7pm-10pm and Sunday’s 7pm-9pm. Visit www.jasonswoods.com for full event details
Government Zombie Cover-Up Exposed!
Feasterville, PA – As recently reported in many local media outlets, the government-operated Zombie Research Center, located at the Valley of Fear in Feasterville, Bucks County, PA, tragically burned down this past summer.
Based on information recently revealed by unnamed sources within the U.S. government, it is now known that dozens of actual zombies in various stages of development escaped during the fire and are roaming freely in the area, threatening the very lives of visitors to the Valley of Fear. Discovery of this cover-up leads many to recall the mysterious cover-up in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947.
“I had no idea what I was getting myself into,” says one shaken visitor to the exhibit. “I barely escaped with my life!”
Local authorities have thus far been unable to contain the escapees, who are still at large in the wilds of the Phoenix Sports Club in Feasterville, PA. They hope to have the situation under control some time in November.
Valley of Fear Opens Sept. 28th and Runs Through Nov. 3rd
Phoenix Sport Club, 301 W. Bristol Road, Feasterville, PA 19053
Check Website for Dates and Tickets: valleyoffear.com
The Valley of Fear Rises From the Ashes for 2012!
The Valley Of Fear is the area’s longest running seasonal Halloween themed event, now in its 23rd season. Over the summer, a fire damaged some of the facilities on the property at Phoenix Sports Club; in fact, the devastating fire was featured on Channel 6 ABC news. But the Valley of Fear has literally “risen from the ashes” to come back better than ever this haunting season! It features favorites such as the Original Haunted Hayride and Scary Tales – your favorite fairy tales with a terrifying twist. The Valley of Fear Hayride was named the 2011 Hayride of the Year by the independent critics at FrightTour.com.
“Although we had a disaster with the fire this year, we have managed to turn it around and make the attraction even better than ever,” says Tom Yaegel, who operates the Haunted Hayride every year.
“Thanks to our imaginative cast and creators, we’ve made the fire a part of the story of our haunted attraction—due to the fire, zombies have escaped and are roaming the Valley of Fear. It’s very satisfying to turn this tragedy into a fun part of the 23-year lore of the Haunted Hayride.”
What’s new this year?
• The Zombie Research Center Zombie Excape Maze—Extreme terror, extreme fear, extreme zombies! Try to survive as you are chased by the zombie escapees through a 5,000 square foot maze. They’ve escaped and they are coming for YOU!
Special Events
• Opening Weekend Special – Sept 28th and 29th, get all 3 attractions for the price of 2! Get discount tickets online at valleyoffear.com.
• Thursday, Oct 4 is Firefighters’ Appreciation Night at the Valley Of Fear. In honor of the heroic firefighters who fought the fire at our site this summer, The Valley of Fear is proud to offer special rates to those firefighters from the fire companies that responded to the blaze, and their families, on October 4th. Firefighters from participating companies should check with their chiefs for details.
The general public can purchase tickets for any night online at valleyoffear.com.
by
MikeV |
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Concerts & Events,
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